Eggscapade

I find excitement in the smallest of things. Mail that doesn't have a total dollar amount at the bottom is a favourite. I also love finding a movie playing on television that I own on DVD. That's a dewzie. Top of the list though? French Toast.

Goodness, I love french toast so much. I'm a boob in the kitchen so french toast always seemed like a safe bet for me. It's easy and quick to make. I also constantly find myself missing food and items with which to make food so the fact that all you need to make french toast is bread, eggs and milk makes it a pretty obvious choice for me. The only thing easier is cereal. And not by much.

Well today I find myself house-sitting for my boss who's been gone for a month now. The fridge was left pretty bone dry (for sanitary reasons of course) but dudes, my tummy is grumbling. Since I've had cereal the past 4 meals, i figured there's no time like the present for some french toast.

Now all I've gotta do is checklist the necessities. Bread? In the freezer! Milk? Dated Aug 02 10! Eggs? Shit... We've got eggs. But they're in one of those fancy egg holders only rich people bother using and they aren't stamped with an expiration date. Now what?

Well, I could take my chances with food poisoning but I'm not in the mood to play that game. How the eff am I supposed to know if these eggs are old or not without pinning my boss in regards to this matter for which she likely has no answer and would be a little more concerned that I was using the stove than that I'd eat a rotten egg?

GOOGLE!!!

Oh Google you old bastard, you. You are like the mother I have always dreamed of. All the answers, without having to pick up a phone and call. With the click of a button and a couple of hammers on the keyboard I've got my answer. Now I can eat!

Thanks Google!

Oh, you wanna know how to know if an egg is expired, don't you? It's why you've kept reading, isnt it? Well folks... it's so simple even I did it. ME! The girl who has asked hundreds of times and been told the answer but still can't remember what makes dark meat dark and light meat light. The girl who isn't sure if JN on an expiration date is January or June. The girl who once left out sugar in a brownie recipe. SUGAR.

Ok, i'll tell you!

Step 1: Fill a large bowl with cold water (bowl must be at least 3 times the height of the egg)


Step 2: Drop in egg.

The end, kids. If the egg drops to the bottom and lays on its side then you're in business. If it slowly drops but bounces on its tip at the bottom a couple times, you're lookin' at what we in the business call a "week old". And by in the business, I mean the business of checking if eggs are rotten or not. I'm new to the business but, in the business nonetheless. And lastly, if you've got yourself a floater then she's a rotten egg. In which case, pack her up and head over to your nearest high school teachers home and request a go-no go for launch.

Good luck.

Love, Martha Stewart.

PS. I had 4 sinkers, 3 floaters. Snap!